If you've been reading my stuff before, you know i get crazy technical with small stuff. Like the Slut's Vs. Whore's thing. Well i have another one for you. I'm sure everyone knows this already, there's a huge difference between drinking and being an alcoholic. But i'm not talking about the actual terms, these are groups of people i want to talk about today.
My best friend texted me that he was crazy drunk, he then skyped me and i watched as him and his roommate took a hit off a makeshift bong. He parties, he's telling me how awesome his life is, and i'm somewhat happy for him. As for me, the last time i got drunk was 3 days ago, i had a six pack alone in my room and fell asleep. Of the two of us, of course i'm the alcoholic, but it's more deeper than that. You see there are another set of 2 types of people. I say it that way because there are so many ways you can diverse people, this is just one of them. There are people who drink because they think it's fun to do with friends and shit, and alcoholics who drink to relieve stress. The drinkers and the alcoholics. We all know which one i am.
So i don't really party, nor do i really have a craving to drink around friends and dance and flirt with girls and do drugs. But my friend does. He's social, i'm not, he parties, i don't. It isn't to say i hate doing it. I have smoked, and i do enjoy it. But i have more things to worry about than to let pot and alcohol run my life. I don't have the carefree life my friend does. Oh sure he has stress from work and school, and his parents expect him to come back a success and still as nice as he is, but let's hit some truth. He's never been in a fight, and probably wouldnt last in one, he doesn't know the way the streets work, he's not a victim of divorce, his parents love him, any girl in his life is chasing him, and everything tends to fall into his lap. That isn't to say life isn't hard for him, but he's much better off than most of us. As the rich get richer, the happy get happier. If things start going good in your life, they only get better. If things go bad, sure you have no where to go but up, but it is a huge pain in the ass to do so. Plus it takes years. I'm still in development of it and feel like i'm going no where.
My ex, Kim, fits into this category as well. If anything she's worse. She does pills, has had sex with over 15 guys, that's almost matching her age, and she couldn't even tell you how many dicks she's had in her mouth. She's eaten out more girls than i have. The world is full of hedonists, we just choose to live it in different ways. My best friend lives his life for school, he wants to fuck as many girls as he can, experience college the way everyone is, follow what everyone is doing basically. He loves house music, he's joined a frat, he does drugs for fun, and he believes everyone wants the life he's chasing.
As for me? I'm a hedonist too. I love life. Life has thrown me to the ground, beat me to the curb, but i still get up every day can put on a smile. I look around and see the absolute beauty in the earth, i love the trees, the sky and the sun. If it rains, i never take out an umbrella, i walk in it, i dance in it, i sing in it. I love women, I've only had sex with 3 girls and don't care enough to increase that number, i just want to wake up every morning next to a girl i find beautiful inside and out. I love rap and rock music, not pop stuff, but oldies. I can enjoy a nice drive blasting some Al Green, Earth Wind and Fire, Atmosphere, Queen, Boston, The Beatles, The Eels, simple music. I want to experience life by laying down at the park and taking in the sun, making a random girl smile, not cause i like her, but because i want to see her smile. I don't do drugs, i'm not against it, just don't need it, i'll only drink at night if depression hits that hard, if not, i can fall asleep dreaming about the life i'll never have but will continue chasing till i pick up my check from my horrible 3-11 job that i hate.
He's not better than me for having it better, and i'm not better than him for having it tougher. I'm still a depressed mess, as much as he's fucking up right now. But it's all a part of life, and we still have a lot to go. One day there will come a time when our roles may switch, or we may join each other on one side of the coin. I plan on staying alone for a long time though, i just hope he doesn't have to make that choice too.
