I don't want people to take offense to the title considering i'm alone too. I feel that people need a thorough examination on their pathetic lives to understand why they are alone for a holiday that primarily involves love. All things considered, being alone sucks balls. Being alone on Valentines Day, you might as well watch love movies all day, because that's basically what you might end up doing anyways. But if your bitter enough, your alone enough and you just want to know why? Maybe i can help.
I guess i'll talk about guys first considering I am one. Plus guys are just easy to understand. Now as a friend of mine once said, everyone wants to be the victim. So i can't just go out and say, "The douchebags like this, and your a douchebag." Because though Douchebags take up a small percentage of our society, they aren't a real viable personality trait. Plus in the end we're all douchebags. So that's out.
So generally when you talk about guys, they can be categorized in a Myers-Briggs standard. Mainly they are: The confident-love based, confident-women based, confident-career based, confident-nice guy, shy-nice guy, the upstanding-nice guy, and the deceiving nice-guy.
The confident-love based: You think of this guy, you think of all the movies that portray a white woman's fantasy to be Fabio, hair in the wind, unbuttoned white cotton shirt, shoeless, pulling up 2 white horses on the shore of a beach. Basically, this class is that. It's the confident man who just wants love. Nicknames include: Exotic, Dreamy
Confident-women based: Now as you can probably guess from the name, this class of guy likes women, all women. This is the type that will generally cheat on a girl, or they just play the field. They will always have a valentine, because that confidence they portray makes them attractive. And the more girls that want them... the more girls that want them. The minute you get one fish, the entire school will follow. Nicknames include: Player, whore, douche
Confident-Career Based: Also another woman grabber, but its also the class that almost careless. They do get a lot of women, but they are to driven by their career to be taken aback by them. This is my Samwise, he is career driven, which i something i'm proud of him for. Girls will tell you, there is nothing more sexy than not only a guy with a job, but a guy going somewhere in life. Nicknames include: Future husband, asshole, confident dude, smart guy
Confident-Nice guy: I almost don't want to talk about this class. Mainly cause it's the worst class of the group, and by that i mean, they keep stealing the girls i like! The confident-nice guy is by far the most desirable in the categories. All the women aim to get a guy like this. When they speak about a confident man they usually aim for this one but wind up with the confident-woman based. Nicknames Include: Stereotypical Main Character from any romantic comedy.
Shy-Nice Guy: Now we get to the painful parts, because this is where i used to be. The Shy-nice guy is also knows as the guy whose "too nice for his own good". He will be friend-zoned always, he's confused to be gay, and he's awkward to a painful degree. Girls want him, but at the same time... girls don't want him. Girls who are above a 6, aim higher than him, but use him as a default. Girls below a 6, know how good of a guy he is and want him... but he doesn't want them. Eventually he'll settle and wind up having his first time with a girl whose way below his standards all because he's not confident enough to make the first move on a girl he actually likes. I know this sounds familiar to a lot of you. It's common. Nicknames include: Nice guy, cute, best friend, idiot.
Upstanding-Nice guy: Now this is one guy i know for a fact we all can't stand. The upstanding nice guy is truly confused to who he is. He is a nice guy, at times. But mostly he complains and moans that girls only go for the assholes and not the nice guys. He may get lucky with a girl or two. But he is equivalent to that of a deceiving-nice guy in that he's fooling people, mostly himself. It's not that this guy isn't a good guy, it's just that he's more of an asshole. For instance he may get a with a girl below his standards, but then he'll treat her like shit because he doesn't want her. And he'll still be able to convince people that he's a nice guy, people just don't see it because they don't care about her. That's horribly complicated isn't it? Don't think your going unseen man, i got my eye on you. Nicknames include: The hipster, nice guy, confused, dickhead.
Deceiving-nice Guy: Like i mentioned before, this one has a lot in common with the Upstanding-Nice guy, the Deceiving-Nice guy is just more of a rapist about it. He's the guy that a lot of women in the movies first hook up with then turn to the main character for comfort. He's nice at first, but then as time goes on he starts changing and you see his real side. He becomes a guy you don't think he is. He winds up hurting you, or leaving you for another girl. He portrays the confident-nice guy, but is hiding his real side within him. Nicknames include: Womanizer, rapist, salesman
The Loner: Of course i couldn't go by without mentioning this class. The Loner is angry, bitter when Valentines day comes around. But he never says anything about it. He bottles his feelings, and he tries to be as happy as he can and tries to make it just... another day. But past loves hold him back. He's heartbroken, and nothing can cure of him of that. And no one knows how he really feels, because he doesn't want to burden anyone with his troubles. He spends valentines alone, with a couple of drinks. When he's had enough he'll look through a drawer of old memories and pull out something he hasn't seen in a while. A trinket from a love long ago. He'll kiss it, tear a bit. Say something sentimental like, "I'm sorry" or "I still love you" or "i'll always wait". They're always saying some kind of bullshit like that. Then he falls asleep, wakes up in the morning, and moves on with his life. Nicknames include: the hermit, the asshole, the withered lover.
Yes yes, you probably already guessed it because it's fucking obvious. Of these classes i am the Loner. My stories of Lucy and Kim and Zooey should be enough of a clue about it. The thing is, these classes don't just exist for valentines, this is everyday. Once your in your class it's going to take a hell of an epiphany to get you out. I've switched like 3 or 4 times. It happens. We grow.
Now women, i can't really put you guys in classes. There are too many different kinds of you. Like i'll have to narrow it down by different styles, genres and races. Then each one of THOSE there are like 6 different categories, it's too much! Maybe one day when i have enough free time. All i can do is give guys tips on getting the girls. Guys listen up.
1. Just because you have things in common with the girl, doesn't mean she automatically wants to marry you. Take a step back. Girls like teaching guys things, so you need to be a bit ignorant when it calls for it.
2. Don't get too attached to a girl, and don't get to distant. Find the area in between. But also try to be more distant then attached. A girl wants what she has to work a bit for.
3. If there's a girl you like, go for it. A lot of people might tell you, "the worst thing she can do is say no!" So i'm going to clear this up a bit. If you have to have people convince you to do it, back up because it's too late anyways. Unless you just need a pep talk, if your not confident enough to go over by yourself, you may just look like an idiot in the end. Girls like confidence. They like guys who are sure enough of themselves to talk to them. In the end... just be comfortable with yourself! Be aware! Know what you are, what's good about you, and use it.
And as for couples, there are only 3 pieces of advice i can give you. To both male and female:
1. Be Honest
2. Be Aware
3. And Don't Be Stupid!
Tell the truth, it's easier than lying. Be aware of what you are, where you are, and where she is. If you're aware, guaranteed you won't be surprised whenever she makes a move. And please please please stop being stupid! If someone cheated on you, or you think they're going to, just leave them. There are better people out there for you. If you can get one person you can certainly get another.
Good luck, be safe, and all that. Happy Valentine's Day, spoil your significant other, and spoil yourself. If your alone, please don't drag it down for everyone else who's happy, ok?
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