Not about sluts.

It's hard to believe i did a single post dedicated specifically to sluts, but i just discovered isanyoneup.com and i blasted "Fuck you Lucy" by Atmosphere, and i feel there's still some ground i didn't cover.

If you haven't been on the website i just mentioned, you should definitely check it out, it's freakin' hilarious. I found out about them through a news show on youtube called The Young Turks. They were talking about a trend called, "slut shaming" where there are websites dedicated to pointing out sluts. Of course, me being experienced in that area, i had to check it out myself.

I have never had so much fun looking through naked pictures. I laughed my ass off, and kept hoping i would see Kim there. I swear, i kept thinking she'd be the next girl on there. And there was this one girl who i saw that the owner of the site personally found. He wanted to fuck her, but he wanted to embarrass her a bit first. So over video chat, he recorded her shoving various items up her ass. I'm a straight-forward guy, and i didn't know how to sugarcoat that last sentence.

Anyways, she became infamous over the internet as "butthole girl". You can't make this shit up. I found her facebook, i found her tumblr, no I'm not leaving links, I am just informing you guys. So butthole girl did it for attention. And behold, she got what she wanted. Thousands of people message her a day now asking for sex. And guess what? She complained.

This is my main problem with girls. I love women. I hate girls. And this is just like my ex, they want attention, and when they get it, it's not the kind they wanted. They put themselves out there like a slut, and when they become recognized as one, they complain. "This isn't what i wanted!" Oh shut up... You fucked 10 guys within 2 years in high school, and blew a double digit number, and you wonder why people view you in that way? You know Kim once told me that her favorite parties were ones where people from different high schools got together? Of course, cause the guys will hit on her and not know that she's easy, but that she puts out.

Enough about my ex, she's not why i'm writing this. Butthole girl didn't act like Kim. Instead, she completely put it out there that she's a slut. On her tumblr people asked her question, several people asked, "When are we gonna fuck?" and she'd come back with, "As soon as you show your face anon." If you don't know, on tumblr you can make yourself anonymous so the person doesn't know who you are. And she didn't care, she'd literally have sex with anyone.

As i'm writing this, i'm realizing how severely inappropriate this post is becoming, and worse, i send this blog to potential employers, i do want to be a writer after all. I really need tofind more family-friendly topics...

So as with every post, why am i writing about this? I haven't reached a point yet. Well here it is.

This post isn't about sluts. It isn't about whores, it isn't about my ex, or sex at all. It's about the epiphany i had going through isanyoneup.com.

I went through that site, laughed at every slut, every whore, and said, "Well, they shouldn't have done it if they didn't want it up there." And i was so into the idea of finding Kim on the site, that i literally went searching by cities. Couldn't find her, but it didn't matter. I kept laughing, i kept having a great time. Then i texted my Samwise about it. I also went through facebook and found that Kim had left him stuff on his wall. They are still good friends. So i proceeded to ask if he had sex with her yet. Then I told him that with the right approach, he could, that she was so easy he didn't even really have to try. My words were, "Just give her a little bit of attention, guarantee she'll take her clothes off."

...I read that out loud to myself. I heard every word accentuated by my voice. I heard my voice saying that sentence... I awoke, and realized that i sounded just like my father, like another friend of mine... Like a douche.

I always complain that my dad claims to be such a nice guy and says the things he says. Done the things he's done. A friend of mine use to talk like that too, i remember i hugged a girl who reminded me a lot of Kim and he said, "You probably got her wet right there." I was... becoming cynical and disgusting about women. I became the man that i claimed to hate in Junior high. What happened to me?

I'm not going on that site again. It's a funny site don't get me wrong, but it's making me hate people more. And a website that produces hate, isn't somewhere i should be going. Don't get me wrong now, i'm not saying they are hateful! I'm just... a picky guy. I like being a nice guy, i like thinking innocent, i like looking at a girl and not thinking about sex. I like wanting to date a girl, with sex out of the picture. I went on that site to ruin my innocence, to make me know how to handle myself when i came across a girl like that. I do now, but i don't need to know anymore. I need to be myself, and i'm better than that.

Moral of this story: There really isn't any. In the end, i still hate girls, still love women, and i'm as gullible and foolish as ever. I greatly admire a man by the name of Charles Bukowski. And the way he talked.. he wrote poems like he didn't give a fuck who read them. He cursed, he called women bitches, and whores, and sluts. He talked about drugs and alcohol. One of my favorite poems by him is, "The Best Love Poem I Can Write At the Moment." The reason being that it's so inappropriate, but at the end... it all comes together. It's... almost angelic. It's like he said the worst possible things, and then he used that, to explain the best possible thing. It's hard to explain, but read the poem, and you'll know what i mean.

So maybe this is a story i shouldn't have gone into, maybe i shouldn't be talking about a website that exploits women in a pornographic way, and go into detail about my mindset through it all. But that's my world. Light shine's only in the dark. And my epiphanies come when i least expect them. They make me a better person. I woke up this morning browsing that website, thinking the worst possible things about Kim. I go to sleep tonight, wishing her the best, hoping she keeps off the drugs, hoping that she'll wake up one day and not cheat on her boyfriend.

But i feel i also have to talk about my stance on men and women at the moment. I've achieved a great sense of equality between men and women. It used to be i would stand up for the nice guys, because i was nice guy. Then i would stand up for the women, because i love women. But now, i know it all. I know there's a difference between a girl and a woman. I know there's a difference between a Fool and a nice guy. In this world, Fool's can't be appreciated, and girls are loved.

Please... be the latter.