Self Ethics

You can either be one or the other right? Selfish or unselfish? It's tough sometimes to tell difference. Sometimes its just completely impossible.

We'll start off easy. Stealing is selfish. Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is unselfish. Giving to the poor is unselfish. Giving to the poor so you look good is selfish. But that last one, at least your helping somebody. Some people don't take that into consideration. So i will justify selfishness, and wrong out unselfishness.

Have you ever hung out with someone, and you ask, "What do you wanna do?" what's the other person say? "I dunno... what do you wanna do?" "Where do you wanna go?" "Wherever you wanna go..." Doesn't that frustrate you? I know it frustrates the hell outta me. So now i've learned to force it. Yeah it's selfish at times, like I told someone to come to me to Manihani (Manhattan) and they went, "I don't feel like going there..." When i asked where else they wanted to go, they said, "uh... I dunno..." then i straight up told him, "Alright, you do that, I'm going to Manhattan." And i wound up going, alone. Yeah that sucked, but you know what? I had fun. I had a lot of fun. I just asked the wrong person to go with me. I'm just saying that sometimes, people mistake selfish with just knowing what you want. That mistake can cost some likeness points.

Now on the other hand, arguing with someone where you wanna go or what you want to do, is pushing it too far. That's selfish. I have another friend, some people have a problem with him. It's either his way or the highway. Actually, it's more like... if you don't do things his way, he's not joining. That's slightly exaggerated. I love the guy, because he makes plans. He knows what he wants to do. And that makes it easier on me, cause i don't have to make plans. I just follow him.

So we got that cleared, no where do relationships come in? This is where things get reeeeally tricky. I know because i've fucked up horrible with it before. Let's go back quite a ways to the love of my life, Lucy. All i ever said to her was, "The last thing i want to do is hurt you." And yes. I truly meant that. I never wanted to hurt her. So when Zooey came into the picture, i selfishly chose her over Lucy. Why? Cause in my eyes, i never deserved Lucy. I didn't do a damn thing in my life to deserve girl as great as Lucy. No matter how much of a nice guy i was, in the end i was an idiot. An incompetent, immature, naive fool. And Lucy deserved much better than that. A man who could support her, make her happy, give her everything she ever wanted. So my decision, in my eyes, was unselfish. So this is where I not only crossed the line, but i crossed it and shat on it, because you can see it better than I can from your point of view. Trying to be unselfish, i actually made the most selfish move. I should've been selfish. I should've looked out for number 1, me. Cause if did, I would've chose Lucy. Instead i looked at the ethics, the rules, my morals, loyalty. And I chose my best friend, because that's the way it would work right? Sometimes, just because you followed the rules, is exactly why you lose the game. Sometimes, you have to think outside the box.

Sometimes... in order to make the unselfish decision... you have to be selfish.

Now, i'm not saying this works for everything. But there is a famous criminal theorist who knew the secret to a perfectly working economy. I forget who it was, but he knew that if everyone in the world worked selfishly, worked just to make money to provide for their family, our economy would thrive. Honestly, if you based an economy on unselfishness, it'd be weak. It would crumble.

What i want you to take away from all this, is that you have to be selfish at times in order to be unselfish. And it works vice-versa. To every nice guy out there, be selfish! And to every asshole who tries to get his way, have a heart you dick. If we all fight what our sense of right and wrong tells us to do, we could lead a healthy life. Sometimes, to do the most good, you have to dwell in the darkest corners.

If you really want to lead a better life... You can meet me in purgatory.